I have been working with this family for over 2 years. I am making $13, which is WAY below what I know I should be making (yikes, I hate how that sounds, but I've got a Master's degree and SOOOO much experience, not to mention I'm 26…not 16…and extremely professional, yet fun, but anyways..) the mom is diagnosable, which I can accurately assess (master's degree is in counseling, plus a semester and a half towards a Psy.D.) and I am having difficulty leaving the position.
I have agreed to go on a week vacation with the family to Colorado in July, and they have put down the $500 deposit for my room. The mom will make comments to me like, "well, things like this happen when you're part of a family" referring to the witnessing of her psychotic freak out and abandonment (albeit for only a few hours) of the children and her husband. The scary part is, she was referring to ME as part of the family. The kids are great, most of the time, and I really enjoy being with them and care about them considerably. However, they are 10 and 11 and not in need of a "nanny" per se, as much as a housekeeper and cook. I am neither.
I am often left at the house alone as both kids have cell phones and are allowed to ride their bikes or go to a friends house. So, I am "stuck" watching the dog (which makes me SO incredibly angry...not that I don't like dogs, I LOVE dogs, but being their dog's primary caretaker is not what I signed up for) or I am cleaning out drawers and organizing cabinets or doing laundry..which would be alright, I suppose if I was making more money...or something..there is just something about it that is really irritating to me. I guess I feel like I am one step away from cleaning toilets. Not happening.
The weird part of this is, I enjoy organizing, grocery shopping, driving kids to and from appointments, talking to the teachers, and being in charge of the household. It must be the personalities of this particular family that are non-conducive to an enjoyable experience, because I like doing this kind of thing! : )
If you have read this far, THANK YOU! I am in desperate need of advice. I don't want them to be mad (and seriously, the mother is crazy), but I know I need to "get away" from this family. What should I do???
San Diego Nanny, San Diego Nannies & Parents, San Diego Nanny Agency, San Diego Nanny agencies, San Diego Nanny services, Seaside Nannies, Seaside Nannies Inc.
7 comments:
Well, regarding your pay, are you paying taxes on the $13 per hour? If not, you are actually making more than me and I have considerable age, experience and education as well. I'm not saying it's right, but just to give you some perspective on your pay.
As far as the mother freaking out, that is not acceptable. You're right, the job is great as long as the people are cool. The reason we are often willing to accept the low pay is because we love what we do. But if you take the joy out if it, it's not worth it.
I think you have to actually say something to the mother. The best way to put it is that you don't work well in high-stress situations and you prefer a more relaxed working environment.
It seems like the mother really needs you and would be willing to work with you just to keep you. Just try to tell her you've been feeling stressed out and overwhelmed - don't say that you are quitting or anything unless you have another job lined up first! That is always true no matter what. Remember that even though she says you're part of the family, when it comes down to it, it's business.
Good luck!
As a Nanny I would say (Stay True To Your Heart)! If any one brings your sprits down may it be your family member, friend, or your employers get away from it! I too am with a family that as soon as the door opens to another and better family Im gone! I know that I am not happy 100% and thats not fare to me or the child. I feel that sometimes with families when they hire a nanny they see you as a babysitter not a nanny and there is a big differents! I would start looking for a job with more pay first because not only do you deserve it but you have to think of you and the cost of living in CA... I wish you the best!
Nanny Carla
Leave!!!;) And dont look back, sometimes nanny relationships can feel like that bad boyfriend that you knew you should of left a looong time ago..but once you break it off you will feel so liberated and plus while your hanging around them unhappy, your missing another oppurtunity to find the position that is really the right one for you!! Good Luck;)
Seriously, if I were you I wouldn't complain... $13/hr to do nothing, but watch a dog or to organize a few things is definitely reasonable. $13/hr for two kids that take of themseleves... seriously, that's not bad. If you wish you could make more more money, then speak up! But, don't be suprised if they say they won't and can't... As a nanny, I have worked with some crazy families where I considered myself the children's "rock", if you know what I mean. I was the only stable thing in their lives. The thing is, it's a job... don't let it effect YOUR life too much unless it's an unhealthy environment for everyone. I wish you luck in whatever it is you decide. Nevertheless, enjoy Colorado!
I recently quit my job (after 2 years) because it suddenly became everything I didn't want. $13 is low, no matter if you work a lot or not! It's your time that counts, remember that! I guess it all depends how you value your time... One of the girls mentioned that it's only a job! Not to me! We work with children here and in someone's home so it's much more emotional and not exactly a "regular job" environment. Just know that there are some great families out there and you DON'T HAVE TO STAY THERE IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY! Good luck!
I can totally relate to this your situation. I worked for a family for 2 years and the mom talked as if I was apart of the family. However, I never felt appreciated. I myself have a college degree in elementary education as well as 3 years experience as a classroom teacher. 6 months ago I decided to take my career as a nanny in to my own hands. I hired on with Dara. I told her about my extended experience with children and how much I thought I was worth. I told her and all the interviews I went to that I would not except anything less than $20 dollars an hour. When I met my first family they saw my excitement as well as passion for this profession. They knew I was worth what I was asking for. In the end I was hired on full-time making more an hour than I asked for . So the best advice I can give you. Is to think about how much you want to make and are worth and then go for it. There will be a family out there who will compensate you for your qualifications, you just have to be picky yourself! Also, 13 dollars an hour with your experience is ridiculous. Hope this helps!
Just say no! From your few sentences describing your education and experience, I say leave and don't look back. Find a job that is 18 an hour... how does that sound to you??? My guess is that you know and feel that you are worth it. So why are you still there??? Dara knows so many families that are HAPPY to pay that. Find one of them.
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