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As nannies we know we did not go to school to be maids or housekeepers, however there is a fine line as to what is and is not acceptable for a nanny to do around the house if the baby is sleeping. I found this on "I Saw Your Nanny" blogspot and thought I should post it.
As a nanny, what do you feel responsible for when it comes to the "domestic sphere" of keeping the house together?
When I started working for my current family, I was told no housework at all. Just clean out the bottles, bowls and spoons so that they'd have clean things to use to feed the baby with. I started when the baby was 3 months old. So at first he was sleeping a lot and I was able to help out more, by picking up toys, doing dishes, sweeping, and picking up the laundry and tossing it into a basket. As he's gotten older and only taking 1 two hour nap a day I don't get as much done. Monday when I left the diaper genie was getting full, but wasnt full yet. I said something to dad about it, then went home. Today (wednesday) I get there and mom says to me "Can you just make sure you empty out the diaper genie when its full cause dad (she said the name) is getting mad at having to do it all the time". I was shocked. I always make sure their home is clean and picked up before leaving for the day, even though I come in to no clean bottles, bowls or spoons. Most days a full diaper genie. Dishes from their dinner all over the place and empty beer bottles. I'm just curious...how many other nannies would be hurt by having that said to them when they always make a point of having the house look spotless, and always arrive to a mess?
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8 comments:
I think that any cleaning involved with the baby is not too much to ask. I make sure the nursery is tidy, diaper bag is full, diaper pail is empty, bottles/spoons/bowls are clean, toys are wiped down (including height chair, exersaucer, etc) and I even do the baby's laundry. There are a lot of times when I end up doing the parents' dishes or folding clean laundry that is already in the dryer simply because I need to do the baby's laundry... but it only makes them appreciate you that much more.
I understand where you're coming from, but I feel that any cleaning involved with the baby is not too much to ask for on a regular basis.
As a nanny for over 10 years I always do the following every morning so that the baby and I can have the rest of the day to play. Every morning I put all clean dishes away, take all trash out and laundry is done every Monday morning only or as needed! This way I can leave at the end of the day knowing I pulled my weight as a team player but to me when a family is picking you apart like that and has such bad deliveries such as the mother did for an example: (pointing out that the father was mad about having to empty the diaper genie). In my opinion I would call for a meeting with the parents and tell them that a simple note could have been left with a smile asking you the nanny “Can you please empty the diaper genie at the end of each working day so we can keep the baby’s room smelling fresh. John Doe and I would so appreciate you doing that for us! Thanks for all that you do”! One thing I have learned is that you teach others how to treat you and by not pointing out right then that there deliveries were bad will only snow ball in to you quitting.
I think its sad how so many parents leave there child/children every day in someone’s care but treat that person/nanny with no respect. I hope to get the message out in this blog that you as parents need to know that it’s your job too when it comes to making sure your home is ready for the nanny to come in and start there day with your child/children.
As a mom to a Pre Jr K I always tell little Hannah's teachers thank you for what they do for my little girl. I leave notes with a starbucks gift card on the desk saying Thanks! Working with children takes a lot of dedication and hard work so, as parents we should never take that for granted. In closing parents and nannies should always work together as a team so that the love and the best care is always there for that child/children
I will close this message with two quotes…
Two Quotes for parents:
Do for others as you would want them to do for you!!!
For every one negative thing you say to someone that day you need to say five positive things before walking out your door….
Thanks Carla
You are not alone in this concern/gripe! I understand that when we work in someone's house and deal with such personal matters as their children, we are subjected to their lifestyle and personal preferences. But I think we also get taken advantage of rather easily. I think as nannies we often try to be as helpful as possible and somehow that fine line between being helpful and being a servant gets crossed. And for most families, once you cross that line, there is no turning back!
I currently work for a family who expects the nannies (they have multiple) to do all the housework! When each nanny started the nanny was told that there is a housecleaner who comes in to clean the house once a week and the nanny is only responsible for cleaning up after the children. But as time has gone on the situation has slowly changed. The nannies are now expected to do the laundry, clean the house, clean the kitchen, mop the kitchen floor EVERY night, etc. In fact, the mother just yelled at me saying "Why hasn't the fridge been cleaned?! Do you really expect ME to clean my own fridge?! That is your job!!" I was stunned and then appalled. But that line has been crossed and I am convinced that my sole duty of caring for her children has been voided in her mind. She now views me as a household staff member rather than a nanny.
I think in order to prevent these situations from occurring, we as nannies need to remind ourselves to stand our ground. We must lay out the guidelines from the beginning and be careful not to cross them. As much as we want to help, we seem to dig our own graves. We have to remember that we are not housecleaners and taking on the role of one is not something we want to do. If we are going to be "helpful" and do extra "chores" (as my boss loves to tell me that I have numerous "chores" to do each day), we need to make sure we discuss it with our employers beforehand and ensure that it is not going to develop into a required duty.
I think that as a nanny I am employed by the family. As long as I am on their watch I am at their disposal. If I have taken care of all the babies needs then I am now in the hands of the parents. If they need me to organize a closet,go grocery shopping, make appointments or do their laundry then I am game. I feel If they are spending their hard earned money on me then I am willing to help them out with anything they need.I think we as nannies should see ourselves as not only a nanny but a house manager as well. We are here to make the parents life less stressful!
boy, does this hit home. I've had several jobs that stated "Child Care related cleaning" which then turned into "laundry, dishes, cleaning up toys (the kids NEVER put their own toys away). You def need to make your feelings heard if you do not like what is happening. I told my boss that while I didn't mind helping out, when time permitted, I didn't want to be a housekeeper. they've since hired someone to come in 3x a week to do the job i previously hated. Use your voice!!
I would be upset. Not because emptying the diaper genie is a lot to ask (I currently do this at my job) but because of the way they asked you. No one should be getting mad at doing something for their baby in the first place, but especially not if it's something that they did not ask you to do initially.
All these tasks are something that the parent has to tell you when they hire you and it should be in writing. Anything you do above and beyond your required duties you may not be compensated for.
I do have a friend that has taken on a lot more chores - things like making the parents bed, mopping the floor and taking out trash. But this family gives her Coach purses and Tiffany's jewelry and other gifts so she feels appreciated. I think that is rare, though. Most people will take what they can get for free if you give it.
It's not a matter of what you should be doing, it's a matter of the parents not being upfront and honest about your duties when you got the job. You accepted your pay rate based on the duties they told you, so it's unfair for them to ask you to do more later. Even worse is the fact that the mom told you that the dad is getting mad. That is not a nice thing to say and it is a major clue about how the family is going to be and how they communicate.
When I began working with my current family I was aware that I would be doing some minimal housework when the kids were napping (if they napped), including vacuming and mopping, kids dishes, unloading the dishwasher in the morning, some laundry, and keeping the toys tidy. Now, almost two years later, I do all of that and run errands for the mom, cook the family dinner every night, organize cabinets, not only do all the laundry but put it away, and pretty much anything else they ask me to do. I know that I can be a pushover and just want them to be happy with me as their nanny - but at what point am I less of a caregiver and more of a personal assistant/housekeeper/chef toting around two kids?
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